Day 28 of the February daily challenge

 My favorite jokes

 Today is the last day of the every day challenge, I will of course post more, just not neccessarily every day. I might even post two things in a day like I did before the challenge. 

1. Three guys stranded on a desert island find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says: ‘I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here.’
2. China has a population of a billion people. One billion. That means even if you’re a one in a million kind of guy, there are still a thousand others exactly like you
3. Two campers are walking through the woods when a huge brown bear suddenly appears in the clearing about 50 feet in front of them. The bear sees the campers and begins to head toward them. The first guy drops his backpack, digs out a pair of sneakers, and frantically begins to put them on. The second guy says, ‘What are you doing? Sneakers won’t help you outrun that bear.’ ‘I don’t need to outrun the bear,’ the first guy says. ‘I just need to outrun you.’
4. The group thought the funniest was the one about the kid vs the barber, but surely humour is subjective?
5. ‘If they exceed these limits, the joke will not be perceived as funny.’
6. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
7. A young blonde fears her husband is having an affair. She goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she finds him in bed with a redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps off the bed and starts begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically, the blonde responds to the husband: “Shut up, you’re next.”
8. A classic from Tommy Cooper – I said to the gym instructor: “Can you teach me to do the splits?” He said: “How flexible are you?” I said: “I can’t make Tuesdays.”
9. Went to the doctors and said: “Have you got anything for wind?” He gave me a kite.
10. I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah. I thought: “He’s trying to pull a fast one.
11. A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One goes to a family in Egypt and is named Amal. The other goes to Spain and is named Juan. Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving it, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband said: “But they are twins. If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Amal.”
12. I went to buy camouflage trousers but I couldn’t find any.
13. “My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that.”
14. I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up for a date but she’d popped her clogs.
15. Four fonts walk into a bar. The barman says: “Oi – get out. We don’t want your type in here.”

Thank You so much for reading my post and if there is anyone who read my posts everyday this month, I want to thank you for sticking with me. If you haven't already, check out my YouTube Channel: Creative Ganger. Keep a smile on your face!